“I am a failure. I have failed my parents and their expectations for me.”

“I don’t love what I am doing, but that’s the only choice I have!”

“I want to be an artist but I am forced to take forward the legacy of singers.”

“I think I am the most worthless creature in this world!”

For once, we all have come across these moments, days, weeks or even years when we belittle ourselves. We devalue our existence and continue to endure the miseries of losing ourselves! We think material possessions, relationships, degrees are our biggest assets and they make us happy. Being around our loved ones is the only thing we carve for? In reality, it’s only our own SELF which is our best possession & partner! It’s a tragedy, how we are losing ourselves in order to find something/someone else!  It must have been ages since we last had a conversation with ourselves but here we are thinking about the future we don’t know if it would even exist! Yeah, we should be optimistic about the days to come, so should we be about ourselves too!

There are many justifications we keep giving of losing our bright smile, peaceful nights, health, dignity and SELF. But if something/someone requires us to lose ourselves to achieve it, is it even worth it?

• HEALTH IS OUR ULTIMATE POSSESSION:

We neglect our health by sleeping late, eating processed food because we are eternally in a hurry to achieve silly deadlines. But never do we ponder that these achievements are nothing without our health! During Covid-19 era, it has become evident how even one’s family abandons and refuses to do the last rites of a deceased family member! Let’s take the lessons?

• SELF ESTEEM:

No! Never! Losing our dignity at the cost of getting anything isn’t a fair deal at all! Even if it may seem relatively lucrative, such things make us lose ourselves & often rob us of our happiness. NOTHING, YES NOTHING IS IMPORTANT IN THIS WORLD THAN OUR DIGNITY.

• FRIENDS/LOVERS SHOULD NOT BE THE REASON TO LOSE:

Persuasion is a communication skill which is indeed a privilege but some people misuse it to convince us to go astray from our paths. We often try to imitate our cool friends involved in things we don’t conform to! That’s when we start losing our identity forgetting we all are unique! “You are the only one of you, Baby that’s the fun of you!”

•  ACCEPTANCE, DENIAL/REJECTIONS ARE A PART OF LIFE:

Life is very interesting. We do things, get appreciated, feel we are on cloud nine. Next moment, we do things, get criticised, and then begins the term of self-doubt, a vicious cycle. Remember no one ever kicks a dead dog! Criticism is often a misguided compliment which should motivate us to improve.

Also, learning to reject or say ‘No’ is extremely crucial. This makes our lives better and easier as we don’t go under the mental strain “log kya kahenge?”. We simply deny the norms because they make us feel uncomfortable and cause so much harm to our well being and hence it’s worth denying things.

• EMPATHY IS BASIC LIFE SKILL:

Although empathy is a basic life skill and should be nurtured, keeping ourselves in someone else’s shoes for long is dangerous! Imagine the torture we are giving to our SELF by being away from our SELF for so long trying to get the facts clear for someone else! If we can’t be with ourselves, we can’t do it for someone else as well!

The chromosomes that made us, had so much probability of becoming someone else, but they made us, therefore, there must be a reason for our existence! While being influenced by someone is reasonable, imitating them to lose our SELF isn’t, ” Kyun roshni Tu bahar talashe? Teri mashalay hain andar tere!”. We should learn to be confident of who we are. We are something new in this world and should embrace it because what we got, no one else has got it! Constantly trying to prove to the world our integrity doesn’t make sense. Becoming better each day for ourselves should matter, not for impressing others. Our void should be our own self. We work so hard for attaining a bright future that we forget to live in the present. One day our heart will stop beating and we will wake up in the darkness of the grave and none of us our plans or fears will matter. ALL THAT WILL MATTER IS HOW WE LIVED. Then why waste it because someone abandoned or we didn’t achieve something we aimed for? Let’s learn to live, love, and enjoy our own company. Let’s not imitate others because there is nothing more miserable in this world than a person who is constantly trying to be someone he/she isn’t!  Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves. Even if we want to help and spread happiness around it will begin from our SELF. NOTHING, I REPEAT NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT IN THIS WORLD THAN YOU! We ought to love ourselves more.

A report by Ruqayya Asif